The Official Site for the Lackluster Goings-On of Michael Kaiser
Posts tagged parenting
It’s Uh It’s Uh It’s Uh
Sep 9th
Well, we figured out the sex of the baby. But more on that later!
Had another nice visit with the in-laws. They came down to witness the conjoined birthday party event for The Girl’s nieces. Big pool party at the sister-in-law’s mother-in-law’s house (say that five times fast). Good food, good company, lots of swimming and a weird clown (but then maybe all clowns are weird). Everyone had a good time. This family sure goes all out for their birthday parties, man. When I was a kid, we had some friends over, we had cake, we had presents, and then we were done. I also walked both ways up hill in the snow to school with no shoes, so I guess times are better now.
The Kid started kindergarten. She was initially excited but now I think she realizes it’s a daily learning thing and seems to be dragging her butt a bit more when it comes to getting ready in the morning. At least she’s a fast learner! She’s also kind of evil now, but it’s probably a stage. Not sure what a stage it exactly, but that’s what everybody says when their kids turn evil, so I’ll say it too. I think it means “my kid has realized how dumb I really am and has decided to no longer respect or listen to me and rightly so,” but maybe I should look it up. At any rate, my jokes are rarely funny anymore, my questions must always be answered with an “UGH!” followed by an eye roll, and I catch her plotting on me at fairly regular intervals. Luckily I’m about three times her size, so I’m still sleeping okay at night.
But speaking of kids, the brand new one, that won’t know how dumb I am for years yet, is going to be a boy! At least that’s what the machine operator lady said after pointing to a white speck on the monitor that only she could interpret as testicles. It’s kind of a trip, as I think I was expecting the opposite. I feel like we got away with something, like this was too easy. Everyone wanted a boy and that’s what we got. Is it supposed to work that well? I guess the odds were 50/50, so I suppose it’s not that difficult to accomplish. But still, considering none of my siblings and siblings-in-law have had a boy yet, it’s kind of cool that it’s finally going to happen. At least I don’t have to hear from grandpa anymore about how my brother or I need to produce an heir to his empire!
I just realized there’s no designation for the guy yet. Not sure what to do about that. Can’t call him The Baby forever, because eventually that won’t apply. I should have called The Kid The Girl so that I could call him The Boy, but I used it on my wife instead and there’s no going back now. Or is there? Hmmm…
Jaws Was Never My Scene
Oct 20th
I’m having a hard time massaging my brain into remember what I did this weekend. Seemed like it went fast, though it was fairly uneventful. I’m tired this morning all the same.
We had The Kid this weekend. Friday we stayed home and talked about how we were going to start saving money. Saturday we went out and spent a lot of money at Mervyn’s, Target, Trader Joe’s and on a gym membership. Then we went to a birthday party in Salinas for about 40 minutes (a kid birthday party, with face painting, a jump house, trampoline, etc. – so 40 minutes was fine by me) and then met The Girl’s BFF for dinner out Outback.
Sunday we spent more money at Black Bear for breakfast and then went to Santa Cruz to pick up The Girl’s wedding shoes, which were finally delivered. They fit tight so they told her to walk around with them at home with heavy socks on, so that should be entertaining.
Then we returned home and decided to test out The Kid’s new bike (which we got for free via The Girl’s work – woot!) and so I busted out all our bikes and inflated the tires and installed training wheels for the first time, which went fairly well, despite my limited ability to use tools and install things.
It went fairly well, though The Kid of course rides very slow and crashed a lot. Her bikes keep getting taller but the training wheels stay the same width, so are less and less affective, especially when she leans too far to the left or right, which she does often.
I saw some dad riding around with his kid in tow on one of these trailer bikes earlier in the weekend, so maybe I’ll get one of those, and then we can all ride faster and further. Or maybe she should lose the training wheels altogether, though I’m not sure at what age that is supposed to happen, and besides which, I think I’ll let her dad be the one who runs back and forth down the street with her issuing false promises of “I won’t let go, trust me!”
So today we work out. EEP!
Mash Your Cymbals, Chimpy!
Oct 2nd
The Girl and I are taking our engagement pictures today. It’s overcast outside, so I’m glad I’m not the photographer. We were shooting for Autumn though, so I guess the weather is what we wanted. I’m kind of nervous about mucking it up somehow. Again, I guess that’s the photographer’s problem, but I can’t say I’m a fan of pictures with me in it as a general rule, much less pictures that are all professional and important, that are designed to “preserve our love forever” and all. No pressure. I suppose out of the 8,000 pictures he’s bound to take, 5-10 should come out good, even if just by accident. The odds are with me and my face. That and BlogNoir posted a bit of thoughtfulness recently that I shall try to take to heart. I will say I am looking forward to seeing a return on this expensive investment we call our wedding. Not just a name on a list or date in a calendar, we actually get product! Very cool.
The Girl’s mother is coming to town tonight and she’s bringing nieces. Should be interesting. We’re also going to celebrate The Girl’s upcoming birthday on Monday, so I’ve been working on getting the Usual Suspects to show at a certain place and time. I think that’s all set, so hopefully it all goes off without a hitch.
I’ve been taking care of The Kid in the mornings, getting her scrubbed, dressed and off to school. It started out somewhat harrowing but it’s been getting easier. She’s been pretty good now that we’ve got into a routine. (Lesson Learned #1 – Give her a shower every morning. Puts her in a good mood and the conditioner kills any tangles in her locks she would otherwise cry about later.)
It’s funny, the last couple weeks, when people learn I’ve been getting her ready in the mornings, they laugh and look at me and start some sentence with, “Wait ’till you have your own kids!” Two things with that:
A) I can’t see how a kid possessing my DNA is going to make my life harder. I guess maybe they’re talking about babies, but you know what? Babies don’t talk back and think they know everything, four-year-old’s do. So if anything, starting out Parenting 101 on a full blown Attitude is much harder, one could argue. (A GIRL attitude to boot – yes I said it!)
B) I get her ready every morning, I taught her how to spell her name, I throw her in corners or on monkey bars, depending on her disposition, my schedule, my food, my sex life, even what freakin’ show we’re watching on TV, revolves around her schedule. HOW is she NOT my kid? I’m not saying I’m her dad, but if I’ve wiped a kid’s butt more than three times, I stake claim. I’m just saying.
Speaking of parents, my grandma is all sad and lonely now that my grandpa is gone. Understandable, and I keep telling myself I need to make a point of visiting her more often, like maybe setup a once-a-week visit or something. My mom meanwhile, has not been responding well to chemo treatments as of late, and sounds all tired and depressed again. Also understandable, though I wonder how much of it is mental and how much physical. She sounds like she’s giving up, which isn’t good. I see her today as we’re taking the engagement photos at her house.
I feel busy.
