The Official Site for the Lackluster Goings-On of Michael Kaiser
Posts tagged the dude
Sleep Running
Mar 11th
Eleven days of working out straight. I alternate between running and strength training, which barely affords my crippled, old body the rest it needs after I thrash a section of it. So far so good, except today I half-assed my run because I couldn’t shake some lung wheeziness. It happens. I’m fairly confident I’ll be where I want to be by race day, and if not, live and learn. At least I’ll be in a better place than I was last week.
The Dude wakes up two or three times a night, but the the third time is usually around when my alarm would be going off anyway, so it’s really just the midnight and 2am bits that aren’t working for me. Lately I think I’ve been sleeping through it more though, which makes me feel somewhat bad, because then The Girl has to do everything. But when I was waking up for it, The Girl had to do everything anyway, because she’s the only one who can do what he’s crying about…aka feed him. I’m not sure why I feel compelled to be awake just because she is, but I do. I was raised Catholic, what can I say? Guilt it my imaginary friend. The sucker’s getting big though, up the 11+ lbs already. Can’t wait until he grows a neck or becomes a little more mobile. He’s like carrying around a jellyfish all the time right now.
The Kid seems to grow another inch with each passing weekend. I think she’s trying to be taller than me. She’s learning to read and do math too. I think she’s trying to be smarter than me. I don’t like this. I want her to stay short and dumb, but she apparently has other plans. Hopefully when the time inevitably comes I can still take her, or at least out run her!
Off to the in-laws next month. Looking forward to getting the hell out of Dodge and sleeping in. Hopefully it’s not too hot. Of course, for some reason we scheduled the trip to at the same time WonderCon is going on, so I guess I’ll miss that once again. I used to go religiously, but since I got out of the game I’ve missed the last three years. I’d like to go again some day, but there’s always next year!
Labor & Delivery
Feb 2nd
While I have never been a part of another labor, and while I wasn’t the one actually laboring, I gotta say The Dude seemed to arrive here relatively easily. Here’s how it went, from what I can recall of the whirlwind:
The Girl jinxes us by commented around bedtime how it would be so great if we could get a full nights sleep and go into labor after 9am the next day. She then starts having contractions about 20 minutes later. They are about 10 minutes apart and by 10:30 they are about 2-3 minutes apart and we are calling the advice nurse, who tells us to come in.
We get to the hospital about 11:30 and she’s still contracting about 2 minutes part and she’s dilated 2cm. The nurses hum and haw about whether we should be officially admitted and suggest we go for a walk around the hallways for 30 minutes or so.
We walk for 30 minutes and come back and The Girl is now 6cm dilated. The nurses now seem to get slightly panicky about how fast she’s progressing and proceed to get us a room real quick.
By 2am The Girl is 10cm dilated and her mother arrives just in time to witness the initially pushing. But The Dude is still too far up so the NP tells us to chill with the plan of trying again in 30 minutes.
About six “30 minutes” later, they start humming and hawing about possibly giving The Girl some pitocin to make The Dude spit out faster, which he apparently hears, because he decides it’s time and three pushes later and he’s out.
The Girl and mom get gushy, I take pictures and make phone calls. The Dude doesn’t cry as loud as staff would like so they run a few checks on him, but in the end, he’s fine and just doesn’t like to cry that loud because he’s too cool for school.
And that was the birth experience. Again, I didn’t go through any of the pain, but all in all it still seemed pretty easy to me. After all the possible complications you learn about when pregnant, I was fairly surprised (and happy) that nothing bad happened.
The End Result - All 10 Fingers and Toes
People keep smiling at me and nodding knowingly like I just joined some club they’ve been a member of for decades, asking me questions like “so what’s it like having a new baby at home?” or “wasn’t the birth the greatest day of your life?” and I nod and say vaguely what’s expected, but really I have no clue. I’m assuming these people are all speaking in hindsight or something, because for me it all seems very surreal still. He’s cute as hell, but I have no idea who this little guy is, even though I’ve been waiting for him for what seems like a decade.
It blows my mind when I think on it and remind myself that he is 50% me. I’m curious to see what form he will grow into, as right now his features still consist of buttons and squishiness. Who’s eyes will he have, how tall will be? People are already saying he has my feet, which is hopefully not true. Otherwise, sucks to be you, little guy!
New Year’s Wishy Washes
Jan 7th
Another Wordpress update! Let’s start keeping track.
Christmas came and went. I think we celebrated it four times, between The Kid, my parents, The Girl’s parents and then various in-laws. It’s all a whirlwind now in my head. The Girl and I hosted dinner aka I sat around and drank while she cooked all day. As far as loot, the best thing I got was a rocking chair and high chair from my parents, which isn’t necessarily for me specifically, but it means I don’t have to buy either of those things, which pleases me immensely. Favorite loot given? A custom CD of The Kid singing over some tracks, given to the grandparents and created courtesy of Audacity, which just rocks, BTW. Here’s the cover:
New Year’s resolutions? Well I feel like I’m channeling Fat Elvis again, which makes sense as I’m eating and drinking whatever I want and not exercising in the slightest. Seems like I do this every year; get vigilant in the summer and fat in the winter. Perhaps I was a bear in a previous life. I’m liking the idea of P90X, but that would require me cleaning out the garage and buying accessories, so maybe I’ll just try across the street again. Of course, another resolution is to actually clean out the garage, so perhaps I should do that at some point! Otherwise I can’t think of much I want to do or change. I got a baby coming, I figure that will take up most of this year’s time. I don’t need to add more hobbies or missions to my agenda.
Speaking of baby, The Dude has yet to arrive still. Not that he’s late, but I think The Girl assumed she would not go to term because The Kid escaped early. But nope, it looks like he’s going to wait until the last minute, probably because he’s lazy like his old man.
Speaking of old man, lookit:
Yep! Can’t see no more. The doctor said I have an astigmatism, which isn’t necessarily an old age thing and probably something I should have addressed a long time ago, but maybe she was just being nice.
Up To Date
Dec 21st
Once again, logged into Wordpress and there is another update. Just like last month. Six plugin updates too. Guess I should log into Wordpress more often, eh? Damn that Facebook. Seriously, it’s so much easier to write, “Man this month went by fast!” as a Facebook status update over writing five paragraphs about it on this journal. But then it’s a lot easier to look up my past adventures here than on Facebook, which doesn’t have an archive feature other than “Click Here for Older Posts.” But do I look at my past adventures? Not really. So maybe I’ll turn this journal into something else, but until I figure out what “else” is…
Here is the 2009 Year End Catchup, brought to you by iGoogle – helping me remember what I’ve done lately since 2006:
We celebrated Halloween much like we did last year, only with a few more kids and adults. I still find it funny that the adults outnumber the kids on this holiday. I don’t remember it being like that when I was a kid. Maybe my family needs to produce more children. (Working on it!) Anyway, here are the kids:
And here are the bored adults:
Good times. Next up, we had a faux-Thanksgiving at my parents house because my long-lost aunts were in town. That was the original plan anyway, but instead we just got some deli trays because visiting is more interesting than cooking. Here’s a picture of the original Kaiser clan where almost everyone is looking in the same direction:
Then my mother-in-law celebrated her 20th anniversary of her 21st birthday. I have pictures but I will not post them because she doesn’t like when I do that without her signing off on the picture first, and she’s not here right now.
Then at some point last month The Girl got The Dude’s side of the room complete. Isn’t she talented?
Wait, didn’t I already post that? Maybe it was on Facebook. Oh well, next! Still in November. My brother and his long time gal decided to get married. Shocker, I know. I thought they were going to do the whole “engaged forever” thing too. Most of us didn’t see the ceremony because they don’t like public displays of affection, I guess? But the dinner afterward was nice and everyone had a good time. Here’s a picture where they both look about as happy as they get.
Congrats little brother! Now we’re in December and The Girl gets the tree up ASAP because that’s how she rolls.
That’s right fellas, I did that too her! (High Five!) The Kid helped with the tree too, and I took pictures per usual. Then my Best Good Friend and I went to Star Trek: The Exhibit. It was fun, if not a bit small, and renewed my love of Trek for about three days. And of course, I bought a bunch of overly priced photos. Here’s one of them:
Season 3 Captain Kirk gut totally on purpose. (cough) Then The Kid had part one of her December spoilifercation process by celebrating turning six with a blow out at Chuck’s:
And that about covers October through December, not counting Christmas of course, which hasn’t happened yet. We’re having Christmas at our house this year, assuming The Girl doesn’t go into labor first. Should be fun. It feels like the last arc of this year has really flown by, and I guess I can see why now that I’ve lay it all out for myself. I’m a lot busier than I used to be, but it’s fun. The Girl and I have been ready for Christmas, gift-wise and decoration-wise, since November 30th. Not sure I’m feeling it yet though. Maybe because I’m more interested in this:
He’s not due until next year, and let’s hope that’s how it plays out but…stand by!
Awkward
Sep 24th
Was out deliverying a shipment to Hayward for work yesterday. On the way back, saw a Toys R’ Us and couldn’t resist. (Still working on that growing up thing.) I was actually looking for a “first toy” to get The Dude, but didn’t find anything that struck my fancy. There was, however, a huge Star Wars section right up front that pulled me in by its tractor beam, and amongst the fairly cool offerings, I saw about three of these:
Stormtroopers are cool. I get why, even though they are murdering foot soldiers, people want to own their toys and dress up like them. But this toy is a bit too weird for me. “Hey kids, now you too can question, torture and burn the Lars family alive!” Not that we ever saw this scene play out on screen, but we know the end result:
You can just hear Owen telling Beru to get back in the house. Shiver!
It’s Uh It’s Uh It’s Uh
Sep 9th
Well, we figured out the sex of the baby. But more on that later!
Had another nice visit with the in-laws. They came down to witness the conjoined birthday party event for The Girl’s nieces. Big pool party at the sister-in-law’s mother-in-law’s house (say that five times fast). Good food, good company, lots of swimming and a weird clown (but then maybe all clowns are weird). Everyone had a good time. This family sure goes all out for their birthday parties, man. When I was a kid, we had some friends over, we had cake, we had presents, and then we were done. I also walked both ways up hill in the snow to school with no shoes, so I guess times are better now.
The Kid started kindergarten. She was initially excited but now I think she realizes it’s a daily learning thing and seems to be dragging her butt a bit more when it comes to getting ready in the morning. At least she’s a fast learner! She’s also kind of evil now, but it’s probably a stage. Not sure what a stage it exactly, but that’s what everybody says when their kids turn evil, so I’ll say it too. I think it means “my kid has realized how dumb I really am and has decided to no longer respect or listen to me and rightly so,” but maybe I should look it up. At any rate, my jokes are rarely funny anymore, my questions must always be answered with an “UGH!” followed by an eye roll, and I catch her plotting on me at fairly regular intervals. Luckily I’m about three times her size, so I’m still sleeping okay at night.
But speaking of kids, the brand new one, that won’t know how dumb I am for years yet, is going to be a boy! At least that’s what the machine operator lady said after pointing to a white speck on the monitor that only she could interpret as testicles. It’s kind of a trip, as I think I was expecting the opposite. I feel like we got away with something, like this was too easy. Everyone wanted a boy and that’s what we got. Is it supposed to work that well? I guess the odds were 50/50, so I suppose it’s not that difficult to accomplish. But still, considering none of my siblings and siblings-in-law have had a boy yet, it’s kind of cool that it’s finally going to happen. At least I don’t have to hear from grandpa anymore about how my brother or I need to produce an heir to his empire!
I just realized there’s no designation for the guy yet. Not sure what to do about that. Can’t call him The Baby forever, because eventually that won’t apply. I should have called The Kid The Girl so that I could call him The Boy, but I used it on my wife instead and there’s no going back now. Or is there? Hmmm…
It’s An Alien!
Jul 17th
It’s hard to maintain a blog when the only thing you’re thinking about is the one thing you don’t want to write about. I wanted to wait the recommended three months before announcing that The Girl and I are pregnant. It was three months as of yesterday, so…The Girl and I are pregnant. Here’s a picture of the little tyke.
Hard to make out, but it looks like one of The Greys to me. Maybe they’re probing us all the time because we’re like a history lesson to them, or something. It was easier to make it out on the screen, as it was moving like crazy, which is why the picture has no legs, because it would not hold still long enough to capture them.
I’m still kind of weary about announcing anything because every time The Girl and I feel stable about it, there’s a problem. But then all the doctors keep telling us if something happens it happens and there’s nothing we can do to cause it or prevent it, so I guess I may as well not waste my time not enjoying what I should be enjoying just in case something happens I can’t do anything about.
So it’s out. There it is. Six more months!
