The Official Site for the Lackluster Goings-On of Michael Kaiser
Posts tagged the kid
Sleep Running
Mar 11th
Eleven days of working out straight. I alternate between running and strength training, which barely affords my crippled, old body the rest it needs after I thrash a section of it. So far so good, except today I half-assed my run because I couldn’t shake some lung wheeziness. It happens. I’m fairly confident I’ll be where I want to be by race day, and if not, live and learn. At least I’ll be in a better place than I was last week.
The Dude wakes up two or three times a night, but the the third time is usually around when my alarm would be going off anyway, so it’s really just the midnight and 2am bits that aren’t working for me. Lately I think I’ve been sleeping through it more though, which makes me feel somewhat bad, because then The Girl has to do everything. But when I was waking up for it, The Girl had to do everything anyway, because she’s the only one who can do what he’s crying about…aka feed him. I’m not sure why I feel compelled to be awake just because she is, but I do. I was raised Catholic, what can I say? Guilt it my imaginary friend. The sucker’s getting big though, up the 11+ lbs already. Can’t wait until he grows a neck or becomes a little more mobile. He’s like carrying around a jellyfish all the time right now.
The Kid seems to grow another inch with each passing weekend. I think she’s trying to be taller than me. She’s learning to read and do math too. I think she’s trying to be smarter than me. I don’t like this. I want her to stay short and dumb, but she apparently has other plans. Hopefully when the time inevitably comes I can still take her, or at least out run her!
Off to the in-laws next month. Looking forward to getting the hell out of Dodge and sleeping in. Hopefully it’s not too hot. Of course, for some reason we scheduled the trip to at the same time WonderCon is going on, so I guess I’ll miss that once again. I used to go religiously, but since I got out of the game I’ve missed the last three years. I’d like to go again some day, but there’s always next year!
New Year’s Wishy Washes
Jan 7th
Another Wordpress update! Let’s start keeping track.
Christmas came and went. I think we celebrated it four times, between The Kid, my parents, The Girl’s parents and then various in-laws. It’s all a whirlwind now in my head. The Girl and I hosted dinner aka I sat around and drank while she cooked all day. As far as loot, the best thing I got was a rocking chair and high chair from my parents, which isn’t necessarily for me specifically, but it means I don’t have to buy either of those things, which pleases me immensely. Favorite loot given? A custom CD of The Kid singing over some tracks, given to the grandparents and created courtesy of Audacity, which just rocks, BTW. Here’s the cover:

New Year’s resolutions? Well I feel like I’m channeling Fat Elvis again, which makes sense as I’m eating and drinking whatever I want and not exercising in the slightest. Seems like I do this every year; get vigilant in the summer and fat in the winter. Perhaps I was a bear in a previous life. I’m liking the idea of P90X, but that would require me cleaning out the garage and buying accessories, so maybe I’ll just try across the street again. Of course, another resolution is to actually clean out the garage, so perhaps I should do that at some point! Otherwise I can’t think of much I want to do or change. I got a baby coming, I figure that will take up most of this year’s time. I don’t need to add more hobbies or missions to my agenda.
Speaking of baby, The Dude has yet to arrive still. Not that he’s late, but I think The Girl assumed she would not go to term because The Kid escaped early. But nope, it looks like he’s going to wait until the last minute, probably because he’s lazy like his old man.
Speaking of old man, lookit:

Yep! Can’t see no more. The doctor said I have an astigmatism, which isn’t necessarily an old age thing and probably something I should have addressed a long time ago, but maybe she was just being nice.
Up To Date
Dec 21st
Once again, logged into Wordpress and there is another update. Just like last month. Six plugin updates too. Guess I should log into Wordpress more often, eh? Damn that Facebook. Seriously, it’s so much easier to write, “Man this month went by fast!” as a Facebook status update over writing five paragraphs about it on this journal. But then it’s a lot easier to look up my past adventures here than on Facebook, which doesn’t have an archive feature other than “Click Here for Older Posts.” But do I look at my past adventures? Not really. So maybe I’ll turn this journal into something else, but until I figure out what “else” is…
Here is the 2009 Year End Catchup, brought to you by iGoogle – helping me remember what I’ve done lately since 2006:
We celebrated Halloween much like we did last year, only with a few more kids and adults. I still find it funny that the adults outnumber the kids on this holiday. I don’t remember it being like that when I was a kid. Maybe my family needs to produce more children. (Working on it!) Anyway, here are the kids:
And here are the bored adults:
Good times. Next up, we had a faux-Thanksgiving at my parents house because my long-lost aunts were in town. That was the original plan anyway, but instead we just got some deli trays because visiting is more interesting than cooking. Here’s a picture of the original Kaiser clan where almost everyone is looking in the same direction:
Then my mother-in-law celebrated her 20th anniversary of her 21st birthday. I have pictures but I will not post them because she doesn’t like when I do that without her signing off on the picture first, and she’s not here right now.
Then at some point last month The Girl got The Dude’s side of the room complete. Isn’t she talented?
Wait, didn’t I already post that? Maybe it was on Facebook. Oh well, next! Still in November. My brother and his long time gal decided to get married. Shocker, I know. I thought they were going to do the whole “engaged forever” thing too. Most of us didn’t see the ceremony because they don’t like public displays of affection, I guess? But the dinner afterward was nice and everyone had a good time. Here’s a picture where they both look about as happy as they get.
Congrats little brother! Now we’re in December and The Girl gets the tree up ASAP because that’s how she rolls.
That’s right fellas, I did that too her! (High Five!) The Kid helped with the tree too, and I took pictures per usual. Then my Best Good Friend and I went to Star Trek: The Exhibit. It was fun, if not a bit small, and renewed my love of Trek for about three days. And of course, I bought a bunch of overly priced photos. Here’s one of them:
Season 3 Captain Kirk gut totally on purpose. (cough) Then The Kid had part one of her December spoilifercation process by celebrating turning six with a blow out at Chuck’s:
And that about covers October through December, not counting Christmas of course, which hasn’t happened yet. We’re having Christmas at our house this year, assuming The Girl doesn’t go into labor first. Should be fun. It feels like the last arc of this year has really flown by, and I guess I can see why now that I’ve lay it all out for myself. I’m a lot busier than I used to be, but it’s fun. The Girl and I have been ready for Christmas, gift-wise and decoration-wise, since November 30th. Not sure I’m feeling it yet though. Maybe because I’m more interested in this:
He’s not due until next year, and let’s hope that’s how it plays out but…stand by!
Galactic Surprise
Oct 13th
The Girl turned 30 this week. Or, as she puts it, she celebrated her first anniversary of being 29. We celebrated on her actual birthday with a little party at our house, so that The Kid could participate. My mom and in-laws were all in attendance. Then the plan was to go to Outback on Saturday, but (insert nefarious mustache twirling here) the REAL plan was for her mother and sister to take her out shopping so we could set up a surprise party at her sister’s house. Totally worked, and she got suckered. I was sure she was on to us, but I guess not, though now her hindsight is 20/20. Good thing I’m an excellent liar! (“Hi honey!”) And even though she has told me she doesn’t like surprises, none of us were maimed or killed, so I guess it worked out. This was my first planning of a surprise party, and while it was not my idea, and I did have help, gotta say it’s not all that fun! Found it to be a big source of stress, actually. Ultimately worth it of course, but I think on her 2nd anniversary of being 29 I’ll plan something out loud. The Girl handled turning 30 much better than I did. I had a real crisis of DC proportions, but she seems to have cruised through it. I guess it helps when you’re pregnant and have bigger things to worry about.
Next day, went to Star Wars: In Concert with my Best Good Friend at the San Jose Pavilion (home of the Sharks). The crowd was pretty good, though not sold out, which worked for us because we moved up a couple rows to give ourselves some elbow room. The music was, of course, amazing and it was great to hear it live. Sometimes the videos set to the music were equally amazing and moving, but sometimes it seemed like whoever made all those up was just mailing it in. But it’s hard to beat a stadium full of persecuted people all loving the same thing, cheering for all the same things that make you cheer. It’s very energizing! And unlike conventions, no discernible B.O. that I noticed! Aside from the concert itself, there were a bunch of Star Wars props in the lobby, but the crowd and lighting were too intense to score any decent pictures. What was really cool was, even though it was a 7-10 show on a Sunday night, many delinquent parents brought their kids anyway. It’s awesome to see that something I loved as a kid is still going strong for the next generation and it warms the heart to see a bunch of little dudes holding lightsabers and head banging to the Imperial March!
I created a site for myself called Desktop Geekery, so that I have somewhere to put the wallpapers I make for myself, instead of discarded them after I get bored. It’s also my first Wordpress theme. Even though it looks like the Default them (and essentially is from a style perspective), I learned all kinds of fun stuff about built in Wordpress functions to get it to automatically display the Wallpaper thumbnail and download links the same way for every post. Ginchy! Well I think so anyway…
Fair’s Fair
Sep 22nd
Went to the fair last weekend. Was it the Santa Cruz County Fair? I don’t know, the one in Watsonville. Went with the family and family-in-law. Much less crowded than it was last year, and we went on a Saturday as opposed to last year’s Sunday night. Is the economy affecting fairs throughout the country or did we just get lucky? Got one of those unlimited ride tickets for The Kid, scored myself a free ride from an attendant who let me go with her once, got my fudge, The Girl got her cotton candy, The Kid got her air brushed hat and met Smokey the Bear, a good, exhausting, three and half hour time was had.
Sunday we spent the day lounging around in recovery. Watched Jungle Book and 101 Dalmatians. The Girl and are trying to be more diligent about score all the Disney animated features before they are vaulted. We even made a list on Amazon of the ones we still need, which is most of them, but at least now we don’t have to have the “do we own that? I can’t remember” conversation every time we see a Disney DVD commercial.
The Girl has been painting artwork and name signs for the kids’ room (odd and scary that “kids” is now plural!). The Kid has been in a drawing mood as of late, possibly inspired by her mother, so we got her a sketch pad and some twistee colored pencils (mechanical pencils but with color – cool invention). So now I’m surrounded by people drawing and painting, and I just watch T.V. What is my deal?
I want to see one of these new-fangled 3-D movies. We saw Up, but our showing was in 2-D for some unexplained reason, while the theater room right next to it was showing the 3-D option. Are certain theater screens rigged for 3-D and not others? It made no sense to me. Toy Story 1 & 2 are coming out in 3-D soon. Not sure if it’s fully recreated into 3-D or one of those lame-ish Nightmare Before Christmas 3-D endeavors. Maybe we’ll take The Kid to see that Raining Meatball movie, but it doesn’t look very good to me.
It’s Uh It’s Uh It’s Uh
Sep 9th
Well, we figured out the sex of the baby. But more on that later!
Had another nice visit with the in-laws. They came down to witness the conjoined birthday party event for The Girl’s nieces. Big pool party at the sister-in-law’s mother-in-law’s house (say that five times fast). Good food, good company, lots of swimming and a weird clown (but then maybe all clowns are weird). Everyone had a good time. This family sure goes all out for their birthday parties, man. When I was a kid, we had some friends over, we had cake, we had presents, and then we were done. I also walked both ways up hill in the snow to school with no shoes, so I guess times are better now.
The Kid started kindergarten. She was initially excited but now I think she realizes it’s a daily learning thing and seems to be dragging her butt a bit more when it comes to getting ready in the morning. At least she’s a fast learner! She’s also kind of evil now, but it’s probably a stage. Not sure what a stage it exactly, but that’s what everybody says when their kids turn evil, so I’ll say it too. I think it means “my kid has realized how dumb I really am and has decided to no longer respect or listen to me and rightly so,” but maybe I should look it up. At any rate, my jokes are rarely funny anymore, my questions must always be answered with an “UGH!” followed by an eye roll, and I catch her plotting on me at fairly regular intervals. Luckily I’m about three times her size, so I’m still sleeping okay at night.
But speaking of kids, the brand new one, that won’t know how dumb I am for years yet, is going to be a boy! At least that’s what the machine operator lady said after pointing to a white speck on the monitor that only she could interpret as testicles. It’s kind of a trip, as I think I was expecting the opposite. I feel like we got away with something, like this was too easy. Everyone wanted a boy and that’s what we got. Is it supposed to work that well? I guess the odds were 50/50, so I suppose it’s not that difficult to accomplish. But still, considering none of my siblings and siblings-in-law have had a boy yet, it’s kind of cool that it’s finally going to happen. At least I don’t have to hear from grandpa anymore about how my brother or I need to produce an heir to his empire!
I just realized there’s no designation for the guy yet. Not sure what to do about that. Can’t call him The Baby forever, because eventually that won’t apply. I should have called The Kid The Girl so that I could call him The Boy, but I used it on my wife instead and there’s no going back now. Or is there? Hmmm…
One If By Land, Two If By Sea
Jul 7th
And apparently it was two, at least according to NATIONAL TREASURE, which I watched again last night. Man The Girl loves that movie. Good thing her next husband, Nick Cage, is getting weirder looking in his old age, or I’d be worried.
(So how does everyone else format their titles? Online-wise, I’ve generally done the ALL CAPS THING, but maybe that’s garish and italic would be easier on the eyes, or bold perhaps, or maybe both? Thoughts? Maybe it depends on what kind of title I’m typing about. Maybe I should look it up in that fancy formatting and grammer book I have floating around somewheres. )
Went to a “party” that turned out to be more of a get-together in Santa Cruz with in-laws for The 4th. Swam, ate a ridiculous amount of food. Like a TON. And that was apparently just appetizer because after I couldn’t eat any more, they brought out the actual food. Gah. But it was good and I didn’t have to eat again for 48 hours, so it worked out. Went home while it was still daylight and crashed early. Or tried to anyway, as I ended up tossing and turning on the couch until about 4am. Didn’t see any fireworks, but that was fine, I’ve seen them before and still had the “joy” of hearing them all night. Otherwise, uneventful weekend spent with The Girl and no kid, which was nice. Not that The Kid isn’t nice too, but the mini-vacation felt good.
Listening to the Michael Jackson funeral in the background. Someone’s talking nice things about him, not sure who. Funny how the press and famous people have been about trashing the “child molesting freak” for the last decade or so, but now that he’s dead, it’s all about how awesome he is again. I bet he faked his death and is living on Celebrity Island or something. Good for him. Man he was big when I was kid. I forgot how big. I used to break dance at lunch in grade school. THAT’S how big he was. I have a scar on my thumb from the time I really stupidly tried to cut the fingers off a pair of cotton gloves with a kitchen knife. THAT’S how big he was. It’s a trip to see all the old footage and videos and stuff, seeing back in the day. My uncle was asking a car full of us a couple days after he died whether he was really that big or not (not out of sarcasm or pessemism or anything, he honestly didn’t know) and I got to thinking…um…YES! I had forgetting how YES he was, but yeah he was everywhere. He was the King. Oh well. R.I.P. Michael.
Someone just sang his favorite song SMILE, (I’m betting the format of a song title should be different from a movie title?) which of course is a great song, but I had no clue it was written by Charlie Chaplin. Please someone revoke my Useless Geek Trivia Knower license.
Let’s Dance!
Jun 29th
God, I almost skipped another month! What is the point of this thing anymore? Stupid Twitter and Facebook! I need to challenge myself to write daily or weekly or something, or come up with something column-like to write about. Or not care and do what I’ve been doing. Hmm, that sounds easier!
I have been riding my bike to work lately because we have decided to be a single-car family, in addition to being a single-income family. My car was sounding horrible and wasn’t worth the price it would probably have cost to fix it, so I donated it to Cars For Kids and got a tax write-off (theoretically). I was only really using my car to get to work and back anyway, so using my brand new bike that I bought years ago and never used seems just as easier. I can’t say it’s much exercise, since the distance from home to work isn’t that far, but it does feel nice to get the blood flowing a bit after sitting at a desk all day. Maybe I should get a motorcycle or something. Oh wait, those cost money, huh?
In-laws are in town, and the families went to watch The Kid perform at the San Jose Center for Performing Arts with her dance class. Three hours of show for about three minutes of Kid time, but it was pretty cool, if not a bit long in the tooth. Those kids are really talented though, and a lot of them could easily go on to dance professionally in theater…or as strippers or something. (Man! they sexy those kids up young. Gah.) Over 100+ people watching the show, and no nervousness from The Kid, so that was impressive. I’d have been hawking up a liver backstage. She’s either too young to know better or she’s destined for stardom. Time will tell. Afterward, early dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. Need I say more?
I don’t think I accomplished any of my to-do list I wrote about last entry, so that’s consistent of me. Working on the garage again today though. Good thing it’s hot outside!
Event of the Year
Mar 18th
Went to my father-in-law’s 50th birthday last weekend. It was in Lake Havasu, and normally we drive there (and by “normally” I mean the one time I’ve gone before) but this time we decided to fly cheap on Allegiant Air. Cheaper than driving? I think ultimately not. Faster than driving? Two hour delay spells not. Easier than driving? I’ll go with yes, though it’s a toss up whether being bottled up in a car or bottled up in a terminal is better, but at least you can stretch your legs in a terminal.
The party was fun. It was a James Bond theme, so everyone dressed up, and there were little gambling tables outside and I had printed a bunch of Connery movie posters that were taped up everywhere. I think Bond posters might be the coolest movie posters every made. Bond or anything painted by Drew Struzan, can’t decide which. Learned how to play craps, and won second place, which meant I came out with $20 more than I put in. I don’t know why I’m wasting so much time with the 9 to 5 when I could be out on the road making a fortune.
The next day we toured a bit of Lake Havasu and had brunch at a place called The Turtle Beach Bar. Great view of the lake and decent food. Spring Break was just getting started, so lots of kids running around in their bathing suits, but I won’t talk about that because my wife reads this journal.
On the way home we took a wrong turn and missed our flight, so ending up driving the rental all the way home. So now flying was definitely more expensive than driving, as of course our tickets were not refundable or transferable. Oh well.
The Kid was sick the last couple days. I think The Girl is going to get in trouble for missing Monday. I missed Tuesday, but the company survived, even though I hear it was touch and go for a while.
Here Comes The Groom
Jan 13th
Christmas was a blur. The Kid made out like a bandit, otherwise I remember little. The usual get-togethers, the usual dinners. The in-laws stayed at our place, (I have in-laws now -weird!) so that made it more interesting, but in my head at least, it was all about the impending wedding, and Christmas was just a hurdle to get through, especially financially. Simple, fun, and then done.
Rehearsal was the next day. It went much quicker and more chaotically than I thought it would. For one, it was freezing, (for California anyway), which wasn’t a good sign, since the rehearsal was around the same time as the wedding was going to be the next day. So everyone was shaking and shivering while we did a quick walk through of the “here comes the bride” bit. It was fairly easy, though the flower girls pretty much ran around ignoring everyone. I was surprised we didn’t go over anything else like announcements, food, dancing, toasts, etc., but what did I know? After rehearsal we went home where take out had been ordered from a Mexican place in Morgan Hill, and we ate and drank and then I took off for a hotel, because I couldn’t see the bride on the morning of, and none of my family have allergy free houses I can stay at. (Cats! Lots of cats!)
The hotel was fairly ungood. I actually got my hotels confused when I booked the room online because I thought I was staying at a different place that probably would have been better, but oh well. It was for one night, and after a week of a full house and various family events, it was nice to have a quiet night to myself, where I could toss and turn all night. I don’t think if I was nervous in the “oh man I’m going to be committed for life tomorrow” sense, but more in a “I hope everything goes right and I don’t trip and fall on my face or something” kind of way. Whatever it was, my brain and stomach wouldn’t shut up, so I didn’t get much sleep. Somehow I doubt most people get much sleep before their wedding day.
The next morning, I went and got The Girl’s car washed and then got ready to go in time for check out, at which point I had about three hours to kill before I had to be “at the church” (aka the golf course), so I went to my parents house and chilled with them and my brother and his girlfriend, who had just flown in the night before. My nervousness had turned in to a surreal calm by that point, and it seemed odd to me that all this talking and planning for the last six months was finally going to pay off today.
Went to the golf course, so I could hurry up and wait. The Girl and her party were already their, prepping in their area, and it was really weird knowing she was in the same building as me but we couldn’t say howdy or anything. I hid in the boy’s lounge until it was my time to take Groom pictures, which were as tedious as the engagement shots, but I guess that’s what we’re paying for.
Lots more waiting and pacing and then all of a sudden “it’s time” and I’m on my way down the hallway passing familiar faces who all greeted me and threw words at me I don’t remember and then I was on my way to the alter locked arm in arm with my parents, and flower girls were walking down the aisle looking all cute and behaving themselves, and I got choked up when I saw The Kid come down the aisle for some reason, which wasn’t good since the ceremony hadn’t even started yet and I was already losing it, and then The Girl came around the corner with her father and she looked beautiful and my head started floating about four feet above my shoulders wondering how the heck I suckered her into all this and then I was shaking her dad’s hand and he passed her over to me and I couldn’t take my eyes off her as the minister started saying stuff, who knows what it was, and I caught a look from The Kid who gave me a wink and thumbs up and I found that funny and odd because I didn’t know she knew how to do either of those things, and then we repeated our vows to one another, who knows what they were, and The Girl got all choked up which made me choke up and then we were pouring sand in a vase thing with our mothers and her daughter and then we were man and wife and I was kissing her and she was telling me to slow down as he walked back down the aisle together.
In other worlds, it all happened so fast! After that though, we had a brief moment to breath and talk to each other as everyone went to the bar while we hid in the hall, waiting for the photographer to take more pictures. It was cold outside so we limited the family shots to a few big group shots, and then The Girl and I spent a loooooong time outside taking photo after photo. Ultimately I’m sure we will not regret this, but at the time, I wanted to be in the bar drinking something to warm me up. At least I had a jacket, by the end of the shoot The Girl’s sleeveless arms were going to fall off, I think.
Finally it was over and we got to go inside and have a quiet moment at the bar, get a few drinks to warm up and wait to be announced. Got to watch the photos or our childhood we collected and scanned rotating on the tv screen, which was cool. Then we were announced and inside the reception area and sat down for all of two seconds before we were up going to table to table saying hi to everyone. It’s weird how, despite being the guests of honor, it seemed harder for us to socialize than anyone else. I guess that’s just how weddings work. I want to see the pictures of all the stuff we missed while we were away doing bride and groom stuff.
Got a few bites of food, two great toasts from both dads, and then it was on to the first dance. I don’t dance, never have. We took lessons to get me through this. Five lessons, and we didn’t practice outside of these lessons, so I was pretty nervous about how we’d do. The dance floor seemed much tinier than I thought it was going to be, and the crowd much bigger. I don’t think we took a single step right, at least it didn’t feel like we did, but The Girl was happy with it, and everyone else seemed happy with it, so I’m happy with it. At least it was over quickly. Then off to more dancing with parents, and money dance, and then just general dancing. I think I made up for the “never dancing in my life” thing on that dance floor, and The Girl danced twice as much as I did. Of course, now that I’ve done it, she’ll expect it from me at future weddings and events, but oh well.
After the first dance, it was pretty much all fun for me. It’s still a blur, but I got to see lots of people I haven’t seen in a while, and managed to talk to most of them. It was a much better time than I thought it was going to be honestly, since I usually don’t do these things well. I think neither of us could have asked for a more perfect day. It went off without a hitch…well except for the one.
After that we were off to Carmel for an all too brief honeymoon and then back to reality. Still don’t have the professional pictures yet, but other people brought cameras and my Facebook was flooded with tags when I got back.
Life is now pretty much the same, except I have an itchy ring finger, and we’ll get a nicer tax break this year. And I get to say “my wife” in sentences now, which is still taking some getting used to.
So I’m married now…to the love of my life…two and a half weeks strong…w00t!
BTW, this is the cake topper The Girl surprised me with! Cool eh?
And actually…shouldn’t I be upgrading “The Girl” to “The Wife?” Still weird!













